Date of birth: February 28, 1913
Temporary Profession: September 19, 1947
Perpetual Profession: September 26, 1949
Ordination: June 6, 1950
Date of death: February 22, 2011
"He demanded very little of this world or of this life.
He gave himself . . ."
He was a quiet man. That's how Fr. Ralph would be described by most of the friars of the Province. Whether at the old St. Augustine Friary or at his "new" home at Our Lady of the Angels Parish House, Ralph was always in the "background." We all knew that he worked -- he was the one you'd see after meals cleaning up or mopping the refectory floor. He was the one who emptied waste paper baskets. He was the one in the back of St. Augustine Church waiting to hear the next confession. But Ralph was never the center of attention. Did most friars even know what he did?
Oh, yes: he was a hospital chaplain.
When our brother Ralph retired at the age of 88 in 2001, having served as chaplain to the Oakland Veterans Administration Hospital in Pittsburgh, PA, for 50 years, the accolades poured in. The Department of Veterans Affairs commended him for his "commitment to excellence, professional approach, sense of loyalty and dedication." People called him "a legend" and employees of the hospital spoke of being in tears at his parting: "He is one of the most selfless human beings I have ever met."
Quiet and selfless seem to be too adjectives that followed Fr. Ralph all of his life. His nephew Bob wrote that he "always put others before himself," and in these days when narcissism and self-esteem get so much attention, Ralph appears as an icon of another world. Whether he had to get up early in the morning and call a cab so that he could anoint someone in the hospital or whether he would stop along the street to greet and comfort one of the many people in Lawrenceville who cherished his humility and guidance, Ralph never seemed to be concerned all that much about "Ralph."
Some might characterize it all as humility -- others may even delve into whether he suffered from demons of a negative "self-image." Whatever the root causes of his personality quirks, few would deny that what motivated our brother Ralph was his desire to love people. He himself said in a homily before his retirement: "It isn't always easy living the Christian ideal, but it's not impossible . . . God has given each of us the gifts and talents and intellect we need to live as Christ's disciples. It comes down to making a personal choice." As one confrere, Fr. Leon Leitem, wrote, "He demanded very little of this world or of this life. He gave himself " “ life, time, comfort" “ as a simple, poor, prayerful child of God."
Francis Zehe was born on February 28, 1913, the son of Louis Zehe and Ellen Sullivan Zehe. He was baptized on March 2, 1913, at Immaculate Conception Church (the "Mac") on Cleveland, OH's west side neighborhood of Lakewood. Perhaps it was fortunate that the trip to the church was not far: they lived right across the street from it with their nine children. Fr. Ralph would always say that his place was "right in the middle" the family -- four siblings older and four younger: Tom, Joe, George, Larry, Clarence, Rose, Margaret and Cecelia, who unfortunately died at the age of 6 or 7. His mother Ellen was also called to the Lord early in Francis' life, but his older brothers and sisters cared for the children in her stead under the leadership and steady hand of his father. He attended Immaculate Conception Elementary School and the Cathedral Latin High School in Cleveland, OH, from which he graduated in 1931.
After working in various jobs, he entered St. Fidelis Seminary in Herman, PA, at the age of 21, where he spent four years as a "delayed" vocation before taking on the habit of the Capuchin Franciscan friars in 1938. His college yearbook noted that his "ever-blushing features, studious habits and companionable nature" were bound to "merit [him] success," but many of us who knew him as the meek and quiet senior friar would love to have experienced his "commanding voice which brought chaotic study hall within the bounds of good order."
After making his first profession in 1939, he spent 2 years completing his college studies in Herman, PA, before moving to Capuchin College in 1941. He was there for 11 months when he wrote the Provincial Minister to express his reluctance to make his perpetual profession:
"I have been troubled with rheumatism ever since I was six years old. It is inflammatory rheumatism -- the worst kind a person can be afflicted with [sic]. Every year I get a terrific attack which leaves me absolutely helpless for two or three months. The doctor said it would eventually make me an invalid for the rest of my days. Since the priest must be very active, I think that I would be more than a burden than anything else . . . I think it would be a grave injustice to you and to the Order to go ahead without letting you know my health condition." (Letter dated May 23, 1942)
Within a few weeks, "frater Daniel" re-wrote the Provincial Minister reporting that "one of the Fathers" on the formation staff "advised me to go back home:"
"The reason for his decision was that he thought I was dreadfully nervous during the time I was collector and whenever I had to deliver a sermon. He said it was rather unusual that one should be so nervous after so many years. Then I told him about the rheumatism and how it has affected me. He thought I would lead a miserable life if I went on." (Letter dated June 1, 1942)
Looking back on Fr. Ralph's almost 64 years of religious life and 61 years of priesthood, it is obvious that "frater Daniel's" advisor was less than accurate in his prognostications, but the Lord's own grace accompanied our brother into the military as World War II was occupying the energies of the "greatest generation."
It was not an easy time for Francis Zehe. He wrote the Provincial on September 17, 1943 after almost a year of military service:
"I will always regret having left the Capuchins. In fact, I have never been contented since that most unfortunate day. Then, I was really worried about heart trouble, but when I went before the Army board, they found me in the pink of condition. It seems I just can't forget about the Capuchins. I wish I was with them again."
Francis was to see action with the US Army in Germany as a member of the Artillery Unit where he received the Victory Medal and two Bronze Stars as a young private-first-class, among other military honors. He rejected suggestions of moving on to Officer Training school ("I would much rather remain a buck private"). His devotion and commitment to duty revealed a hearty spirit of dedication, and we can wonder now whether it also gave him the stamina and determination to bring whatever gifts he did have to a life in priestly ministry. He would never be a fiery preacher, and he would never have the confidence of Fulton Sheen, but he did have his ardent desire to be a Capuchin and to live his life in the Lord's service.
It would be redundant to say that Fr. Ralph ever spoke much about his years in the Army. One friar recalls once asking him about his impaired hearing. Ralph related that during the war a shell came in -- and the soldier next to him virtually disappeared in the explosion. He had been deaf in that ear ever since.
At the age of 33, Francis re-entered the novitiate and was given the name "Ralph." His life had come full circle, and it would continue with a stability and unswerving momentum which would have been impossible to imagine only four years before. He was ordained in 1950, and after a very short assignment as parochial vicar to St. Augustine Parish in Lawrenceville (Pittsburgh), PA, Fr. Ralph was asked to serve as Chaplain to the newly built Veterans' Administration Hospital in Oakland (Pittsburgh). It was the perfect job for the man who shied away from public speaking and whose legs would tremble at the thought of reading the Antiphons in the community chapel as a student. Now, his major contacts would be one-on-one personal encounters. Whether it was at the bedside of a patient, in the confessional at St. Augustine Church where he would hear confessions as often as he was able or on the street as he walked to visit local parishioners in St. Francis Hospital, Fr. Ralph found the perfect medium for his gifts and talents.
Friars and co-workers testify to his "absolute dedication" to work. He never took a vacation. In fact, he would give up his vacation hours to others who needed the time off. Every weekend he would have Mass at his assigned post, but he would almost always be celebrant of other Masses for the weekend at nearby parishes. Even in his latter years, he heard confessions every Saturday at St. Augustine's Church and for many years at the Motherhouse of the Sisters of St. Francis in Millvale, for whom he also did double duty as Chaplain to their St. Francis Hospital (1968-1977).
He never drove a car. A co-worker once asked how he made it to the hospital for emergency calls. He said that in the early days, the hospital would send a driver to pick him up. In his later years, he took a taxi. He generally rode the bus to work.
Where did he get all of his energy? Most friars who knew him can attest to his fidelity and love for prayer. He rose at 4:00am on most mornings. He would spend time in prayer before the Blessed Sacrament and then move on to do the most menial of house chores: emptying waste baskets, doing the kitchen laundry, washing dishes, taking out the garbage, tending to the parish office at night. Ensconced in the back pew of St. Augustine Church, he never missed a parish funeral and he was always available for the Sacrament of Reconciliation. On his 50th Anniversary of Priesthood, he was asked to write about his vocation:
"Most of my Religious Life as a Capuchin was spent in Pittsburgh . . . I was fortunate enough to live in a Friary where the Blessed Sacrament was reserved. Knowing our Lord is present in our chapel, I feel privileged to be so close to Him. I like to think of Capuchin Father Solanus Casey, who played the violin in the chapel when he thought everyone else was asleep. He would play "˜Oh, sweet mystery of lift at last I found you.' Whether you sing or not, you will find Jesus waiting for a visit from you. It is so easy to travel for miles to see a friend and so difficult to open the Chapel door to visit our Lord."
Energized by the comfort of the Lord's presence, we can imagine that Fr. Ralph was energized to be a man of "visitation." He would never neglect his family visits. His nephew writes that Fr. Ralph tried to visit the family in Cleveland as often as he could, "especially for Thanksgiving or family gatherings at his sister and brother-in-law's home (Rose and Ralph). He was a frequent visitor to his single sister, Peggy, whom Ralph loved to tease. She always had his favorites ready for him: chocolates and corned beef and cabbage. Even after those visits, when someone in the family would offer to take him back to Pittsburgh, Ralph showed his desire not to be a burden to anyone else: "Just take me to the bus station," would be his perpetual response.
Fr. Ralph lived at the Motherhouse of the Province, St. Augustine Friary, until its rebuilding in 1991. At that time, the friars had to find another residence as the original friary was demolished and the new house was yet to be completed. Fr. Ralph became a part of those brothers who would inaugurate Our Lady of Angels Friary located in the former St. Augustine Parish convent. There, he found the small community environment to his liking -- so much so that he asked to remain there despite the new friary's readiness to receive him upon its dedication in 1993.
Younger friars marveled at Ralph's stamina. The parish friary had no elevator and Ralph occupied a room on the friary's second floor. As his legs weakened and walking became more difficult, Ralph never complained about climbing those stairs or about the lack of senior comforts that could have been found elsewhere. He remained at the friary through his retirement and up to his admission to Vincentian Home in August, 2009. As his mental sharpness diminished and his physical weakness took its final toll, Ralph remained a man with that "Irish glint in his eyes" who welcomed people warmly even if he did not necessarily remember who they were.
Friars from the novitiate would visit him daily from the nearby St. Conrad's Friary during his stay at Vincentian. On the last visit before his death, three friars were with him as Fr. Ralph looked beyond them to the 2nd floor window of his room. "Who is that man over there?" he asked. Moments later, he wanted to know who had "just entered the room." No one was in the room except the three perplexed friars. Ralph had often asked when Jesus would come for him in those final weeks, so one of the friars present asked him when Jesus was coming to take him home. Clearly and without confusion, Ralph said, "They told me I can't go until I turn 98."
He died on February 22, 2011, just one week shy of his 98th birthday. Perhaps he was given time off for all the time he had given others.
The Mass of Christian Burial was celebrated at Our Lady of the Angels Parish Church on Saturday, February 26, 2011. Fr. Leon Leitem, a confrere with whom he lived for several years, served as the homilist. "He lived contingency," Leon said. "He lived faithful trust; he was an expression of his Capuchin vocation: A living sermon with few words, and an Itinerancy on foot . . . The Lord gave us all a 5-feet tall little brother whose legacy challenges and inspires us on the road back to the Father."
Now buried among his confreres at St. Augustine Cemetery in Millvale, PA, Fr. Ralph is sure to receive many visits from grateful hearts who will never forget the warmth of Gospel goodness which emanated when he visited them.